Monday, 17 October 2016


here is an experimental short i wrote/filmed/created for Channel 4's Random/First Acts project. here is all my softness.

words from REACHING-

i’ve kind of risen from the deep i was buried in before but only hovering
ellie says i’m not like them because i don’t have fun by getting drunk and partying
and i tell her i do get drunk because i do but that’s not why i tell her
i don’t like trying its hard its uncomfortable

so it feels like everyone’s grown up now
i’m still trying to make up for disco days
when i was drifting and they were first kissing
even though i was the one that needed loving the most
reeling from the pain taught to me by the systems i was learning from, hurting from
i find myself disappearing between the gaps of friends who just feel like strangers to me now

everyone is good at everything
and i am just good

do you ever feel so insecure and paranoid that it cripples your insides into a browning apple core?

i am a slump
i am a comfy sofa that looks kind of shabby
i am all the old songs i listened to when i rode on trains a lot
i repeat to myself ‘i am real’ hoping that i can believe myself into existence
i am constantly trying to celebrate myself every day but somehow never really being able to
i want to be everyone’s visceral reminder of what loving yourself looks like

i still live in the blue
feeling everything in between
but never reaching fully


  1. I can relate to this so much wow. the video is absolutely gorg, xo

  2. this is so amazing you are so freaking talented wow, so relatable and so beautifully done and executed xo

  3. THIS IS SO AMAZING!! I can't, those vibes and the words, just made me forget about everything else, b e a u t i f u l