Sunday, 25 October 2015

wasting away half term days watching twin peaks

on half term/mid semester break and i have all these things/essays/tasks looming over my head but instead i've spent the first week doing fuck all, watching netflix, and occasionally making mediocre art.

i started watching twin peaks again(idk why i ever stopped?) and its the perfect time for it. the colours, the reds, the soundtrack/music, the softness is EVERYTHING

obsessed with josie packard omg babe *a lil ode 2 her thru stills*


 literal scream
 ...IS THIS...
...NOT ME...

 MY BB AUDREY HORNE (those pink and reds tho)

 *when u try to stop smoking but then twin peaks comes along and goes all lana del rey romanticisation on u*

i love the constant references that david lynch makes about dreams and visions. s2 is very trippy and weird but wonderful.

also i've been writing A LOT. they're getting me somewhere.. i don't know where yet but yeah, somewhere. and they're mostly a weird in between of prose, poetry and note taking. i need to take more photographs. but first i gotta get my shit together for uni applications tbh

pic i took in switzerland last month



below is the call 4 subs poster, go to for more info

Friday, 2 October 2015

Wednesday, 30 September 2015

been a while

i'm writing on here so that probs means i need to get my priorities straight cos i have loads of work to do and everything else is going 2 shit rip

uni apps and other school stuff is making me crumble. the only subject i like atm is art. its fucked up how the process of learning within skls/institutions is so devoid from emotion. english classes suck now cos i hate / don't understand / have nothing meaningful to say abt or take from shakespeare and all i want to do is write for hours about my feelings and other shit i need to word vomit onto paper. i don't have the mental strength to write about how "menacing" hamlet is thx. i keep smoking in the day and lying on my bedroom floor at night. (smoking @ night too tbh + listening to lana/cocorosie/beach house/lianne.. will make a playlist soon oh and a mood board 2 procrastinate ofc ill post everything here)

im so tired of everything too. feels like im constantly drifting through spaces i don't belong it, losing myself in all of this mess. just want to be in the warmth of QTPOC / ppl who i don't need to justify + explain myself to.

i know its literally just been summer but omg i need a holiday so i can renew my energy and read books and going back to feeling normal // okay. skl is toxic and draining ..... 2 weeks till half term thank god

other things --

finishing up this short film i made over the summer : a short documentary abt east asian girlz living in london ! im proud of myself for making it + will def share it once its done.

ALSO me + 2 other QPOC started this online mag for and by people of color called 'Sula Collective'. it launched in Sept and we post once a day different art, writing, essays etc by beautiful POC around the world.  you can check out the site here:


p.s. omg 2 rolls of my 4 rolls of film didn't take so i lost like 60 pix :'-(

instagram: zszophia
tumblr: decolonizedluv / soholiu
twitter: azngorl

Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Pale Faces

I wrote and filmed this spoken word poem a while ago and forgot to share it on here! But let me know what you guys think...

Tuesday, 30 June 2015


watercolours from a while ago

sooo i finally finished my exams a few weeks ago + then some stressful/gross/traumatising things were happening @ school and it basically consumed me until now /// thankfully i only have 2 days left and i'll be on holidays. i'm just gonna spend my july being creative and reading lots. someone was talking abt how reading is such a large part of liberation (makes sense tbh). so just want to be constantly educating myself, learning more and making art. wanna go through rolls and rolls of film + experiment more w/ photo processes, also planning to do collab stuff w/ other art bebes [hmu if yr in london/uk and wanna do art stuff together/model 4 me]. n will be filming a project i'm doing on east asian girlzzzz in london!! otherwise i just want to be free from stress and just love myself for a while cos i need it. i feel so drained, so tired of everything. its super hot these days and my window is always open now, wind flowing through. i feel like i'm melting away w/ everything else in the city but seeing old friends and just being w/ people who really support my truth + get me is so nice and good for the soul. been feeling a lot of things nonstop so i'm trying to breathe now, lie on the grass, usual summer things...

i'm too tired to add lots of links but here are some interesting or important things 2 check out:
  • Darkmatter spoken word/ slam poetry on youTube. their work abt colonialism, trans identity, queer identity, politics etc. is so on point, saw them perform @ goldsmiths uni and was blown away
  • Shura's music. i'm rly into her songs atm and the video for 'touch' is !!!
  • Lianne la havas's new music. her music videos are also simple but so beautiful. excited for the album
  • "Colonialism was not just about colonising whiteness, but about colonising the gender binary model."interview w/ Laverne Cox in the Guardian
  • been going through the queer films on netflix. i would recommend if ur desperate/bored but honestly all of them are SO bad. (apart from the classics like 'but I'm a cheerleader') they all have really sad endings or the age gap is reaaally big
  • just finished 'feminism is for everybody' - bell hooks (its p accessible to read but also substantial), other things i'm currently reading-- 'zami' - audre lorde. 'women who run with the wolves' - clarissa pinkola estes. 'colonialism/postcolonialism' - ania loomba
  • Adult magazine's panel on consent, rape, sexual assault, rape culture (TW)
  • Sensei Aishitemasu's youTube channel. her YT desc says "your woke big sister". been watching her videos since december ish. she has taught me more abt race issues, anti-blackness, police brutality etc than school ever could. although lots of her videos are really long, i never notice it tbh

photo i took of emma 2 months ago

Wednesday, 3 June 2015


I've just joined this really cool, new online magazine called 'Parallax' that focuses on connecting millennials and social justice activism. O have writing + art to be featured on there soon (articles/pieces are posted every week day of the month) and there are currently some really well-written and interesting articles to do with this issue/month's theme of 'education'. You can check out the website here.

i'm (supposed to be) revising for my LAST exam tomorrow atm. after exams end, i will be back 2 blogging 24/7!!

in the meantime, here's my 8tracks pre-summer/early summer playlist:

i would suggest listening to these songs whilst walking or lying down w/ your face in the sun, preferably in a garden or just in your bed.

Saturday, 2 May 2015

why is my curriculum so male... and so white?

Philosophy has always been my favourite subject at school because the things we talk about in it are so interesting and relevant.

Philosophy is supposed to answer mankind's greatest questions, but I have only ever learnt a white man's answer to them.

My learning is filtered through the white male's privileged perspective. Of the 6 years I have been learning philosophy, I have never learnt about a female philosopher, let alone a philosopher of colour. Which is weird considering that the whole philosophy department at my school are women, but not surprising. My teachers, I guess, are simply teaching what the exam board gives them. Historically, philosophy has always been very white and very patriarchal and my curriculum is simply a reflection of that systematic racism and sexism. 

One of my philosophy teachers sent me this article from the Guardian about women in academia and how universities and institutions can be more inclusive within Philosophy. Dr Meena Dhanda's quote "The thorn of racism is so deep in the flesh of philosophy that it is no longer visible from the surface" was what made me start to think about how some of my favourite subjects are sadly so biased.

I knew that sexism and racism was ingrained into our education but it took philosophy for me to see it with my own eyes and to realise that it isn't just philosophy, it is academia as a whole. 

Recently, I went to a talk on feminism in art history and the speaker was pointing out how art has typically been ruled by artists like Da Vinci, Monet, Matisse.... and how the "the greats of art (history)" is synonymous with (white) men. The speaker then spoke highly about Judy Chicago's "The Dinner Party", an iconic white feminist art piece that is supposed to commemorate important women from history (shown below). There are 39 place settings yet there is only 1 woman of colour featured...

When I went to the V&A, I took a picture of this piece of art:

It was a print created by an anonymous protest group called PESTS in 1980s New York. PESTS highlighted the issues that artists of color faced in the art world and 30 years later, not much has changed. POC artists esp WOC artists are significantly unrepresented in mainstream art galleries. The idea of tokenism as shown in the print is also relevant for Judy Chicago's piece "When you've seen one artist of color but think you've seen ten." However, I think that slowly artists of colour are redefining that narrative and an article posted two days ago on Dazed & Confused is proof of this.

My friend, a history and politics student, was just saying the other day how her history curriculum has always been so Eurocentric and when they do rarely learn about non-European countries, the narrative is always defined by colonialism and imperialism. 

I am ready, we are all ready, to champion female/BAME/POC philosophers, writers, artists and to celebrate more diverse perspectives and hear nuanced narratives. I'll leave you with this short film from UCLU, called "Why is my curriculum white?"

Let me know what you think in the comments!

instagram: @zszophia

UPDATE: Whilst researching Chinese inventions for my art project, I found out that a philosopher I have studied Leibnitz (who created Principle of Sufficient Reasoning) based some of his work + was inspired by Chinese thought on bureaucracy... I mean, hello?? Let's learn about the original Chinese buraucratic systems of government that so many Western thinkers admired (like Voltaire) instead of only learning about China on the basis of Western imperialism and war :(

2nd update: read this article on why we don't study African philosophy + what to do abt it even tho its written by a white woman- 

Saturday, 11 April 2015

feeling old

p.s. i'll have a new post soon. i don't really have an excuse for not posting because i've been procrastinating and doing nothing these past two weeks. i've just been holed up at home binge-watching the L word (i watched season 2 in one day...  help) and writing lots of random things. it's practically summer here, its so sunny but i haven't really gone outside. need to work and get on top of everything before i share writing/art things.

Monday, 9 March 2015

places and people

here are some film photos i took towards the end of 2014/beginning of 2015.

phoebe. one of my favourite photos

me by sonia

Sunday, 1 March 2015

there are no other words left

i want to cry for ages. i don't understand anything anymore.  i am listening to sad songs, watching sad films (i look away when they kiss) and reading rookie articles. i have work to do but i can't think about any of it. i'm feeling so sad today and i wonder when i won't be. i know i will be ok. i just don't know if i want to be okay without you.

Wednesday, 7 January 2015


haven't posted in a while. spent xmas + new yrs in italy which was a really nice vacay. i have a lot to say, a lot of thoughts, a lot of things i want to talk about but need to find the right way to formulate these words. i also have 2 rolls of film to develop and will post some when i have enough $ for developing. currently taking my mocks, got my last two tomorrow (both maths ugh). in the meantime i still regularly post on instagram @zszophia and somehow wormed my way into posting all orange themed pictures due to a sudden wave of orange inspiration every where (see side bar of blog). idk how long this is gonna last. i have pics i wanna post but don't want to break the theme arghhh!! anyway happy new year, hope jan will be a gd month for y'all :-) XXXX 

here are some pictures i'm feeling right now. (snowy winter days then pinkish feels then more vibrant colors/nature basically)

st vincent shot by petra collins
sandy kim by marcel castenmiller i think
frm tumblr 

jeff koons amazing oil painting
petra collins + ryan mcginley aka my faves

glass on airplane by william eggleston 

outtake from a lana photoshoot i just love the colors

whitney hubbs