been a while

i'm writing on here so that probs means i need to get my priorities straight cos i have loads of work to do and everything else is going 2 shit rip

uni apps and other school stuff is making me crumble. the only subject i like atm is art. its fucked up how the process of learning within skls/institutions is so devoid from emotion. english classes suck now cos i hate / don't understand / have nothing meaningful to say abt or take from shakespeare and all i want to do is write for hours about my feelings and other shit i need to word vomit onto paper. i don't have the mental strength to write about how "menacing" hamlet is thx. i keep smoking in the day and lying on my bedroom floor at night. (smoking @ night too tbh + listening to lana/cocorosie/beach house/lianne.. will make a playlist soon oh and a mood board 2 procrastinate ofc ill post everything here)

im so tired of everything too. feels like im constantly drifting through spaces i don't belong it, losing myself in all of this mess. just want to be in the warmth of QTPOC / ppl who i don't need to justify + explain myself to.

i know its literally just been summer but omg i need a holiday so i can renew my energy and read books and going back to feeling normal // okay. skl is toxic and draining ..... 2 weeks till half term thank god


other things --

finishing up this short film i made over the summer : a short documentary abt east asian girlz living in london ! im proud of myself for making it + will def share it once its done.

ALSO me + 2 other QPOC started this online mag for and by people of color called 'Sula Collective'. it launched in Sept and we post once a day different art, writing, essays etc by beautiful POC around the world.  you can check out the site here: sulacollective.com


x
Sophia

p.s. omg 2 rolls of my 4 rolls of film didn't take so i lost like 60 pix :'-(


instagram: zszophia
tumblr: decolonizedluv / soholiu
twitter: azngorl
email: zszophia@gmail.com

melting

watercolours from a while ago

sooo i finally finished my exams a few weeks ago + then some stressful/gross/traumatising things were happening @ school and it basically consumed me until now /// thankfully i only have 2 days left and i'll be on holidays. i'm just gonna spend my july being creative and reading lots. someone was talking abt how reading is such a large part of liberation (makes sense tbh). so just want to be constantly educating myself, learning more and making art. wanna go through rolls and rolls of film + experiment more w/ photo processes, also planning to do collab stuff w/ other art bebes [hmu if yr in london/uk and wanna do art stuff together/model 4 me]. n will be filming a project i'm doing on east asian girlzzzz in london!! otherwise i just want to be free from stress and just love myself for a while cos i need it. i feel so drained, so tired of everything. its super hot these days and my window is always open now, wind flowing through. i feel like i'm melting away w/ everything else in the city but seeing old friends and just being w/ people who really support my truth + get me is so nice and good for the soul. been feeling a lot of things nonstop so i'm trying to breathe now, lie on the grass, usual summer things...


i'm too tired to add lots of links but here are some interesting or important things 2 check out:

• Darkmatter spoken word/ slam poetry on youTube. their work abt colonialism, trans identity, queer identity, politics etc. is so on point, saw them perform @ goldsmiths uni and was blown away
• Shura's music. i'm rly into her songs atm and the video for 'touch' is !!!
• Lianne la havas's new music. her music videos are also simple but so beautiful. excited for the album
• "Colonialism was not just about colonising whiteness, but about colonising the gender binary model." - interview w/ Laverne Cox in the Guardian
• been going through the queer films on netflix. i would recommend if ur desperate/bored but honestly all of them are SO bad. (apart from the classics like 'but I'm a cheerleader') they all have really sad endings or the age gap is reaaally big
• just finished 'feminism is for everybody' - bell hooks (its p accessible to read but also substantial), other things i'm currently reading-- 'zami' - audre lorde. 'women who run with the wolves' - clarissa pinkola estes. 'colonialism/postcolonialism' - ania loomba
• Adult magazine's panel on consent, rape, sexual assault, rape culture (TW)
• Sensei Aishitemasu's youTube channel. her YT desc says "your woke big sister". been watching her videos since december ish. she has taught me more abt race issues, anti-blackness, police brutality etc than school ever could. although lots of her videos are really long, i never notice it tbh

photo i took of emma 2 months ago

updates

I've just joined this really cool, new online magazine called 'Parallax' that focuses on connecting millennials and social justice activism. O have writing + art to be featured on there soon (articles/pieces are posted every week day of the month) and there are currently some really well-written and interesting articles to do with this issue/month's theme of 'education'. You can check out the website here.

i'm (supposed to be) revising for my LAST exam tomorrow atm. after exams end, i will be back 2 blogging 24/7!!

in the meantime, here's my 8tracks pre-summer/early summer playlist:

early summer feels from zszophia on 8tracks Radio.

i would suggest listening to these songs whilst walking or lying down w/ your face in the sun, preferably in a garden or just in your bed.