a feeling

i didn't get invited to my friends party. i didn't get the guy i liked. my friends 'don't understand me'. i feel like regressing. i miss my old therapist. this dress doesn't fit me anymore. i am not going to get the grades that are expected of me. i'm bad at the things i am supposed to be good at. i am not original nor feeling creative. my writing has turned to shit. the words don't flow out of me anymore. they say i'll forget all of this when i'm older and that these problems aren't actually problems. but right now everything matters. its all happening and its all very real. she doesn't like you. he doesn't like you. you can't be understood. you can't lose weight right your old therapist is in another country. maybe she thinks about you. maybe she doesn't. she probably doesn't. the grades make your future. you didnt put in the hard work. your art is boring. be something new. be different. be cool. dont be embarrassing. dont publish this blog post. stop giving a shit. don't be high maintenance. you're obsessive and that's bad. at least you're interested in something. don't listen to anyone. but don't listen to that mind of yours either. don't listen don't think don't be

deleting this

is it really wrong to care???

green feels

having lots of nature vibes. probably because i've been inside a lot recently revising for my exams (super scary/real/feels important for my future). cant wait to be free from them which will be in exactly a months time. i have so many things i want to do in summer. really excited for lana del rey's new album ultraviolence too. i want to pre-order the deluxe box set for it but its £40 nd im rly poor :( i'm seriously slacking on creativity atm. haven't done a lot of writing, reading, art or photog... which is really bad and i plan to catch up on it during half term/summer and post em. i want more plants in my room/wanna redecorate the whole of my room and paint my walls in pastels. 

also i got netflix recently and its so addictive! do you guys have any good movie suggestions for me???

love, xx

Short term 12

This movie is so beautiful and incredibly moving. It follows a foster-care facility for at-risk teenagers who are supervised by twenty year olds, showing both the perspective of the teenagers and their pasts and the effect of the teenagers on the supervisors. This indie film is interesting, dark and often humorous.